Well I got
smacked in the face today, by the cold, harsh, hand of reality. It is
definitely more fun to be the predator than the prey in this vicious job safari
of the 21st Century.
I went to
my first job fair since closing our staffing company several weeks ago.
Apparently karma decided that it needed to assault my ear with the same trite
clichés I have been forced to use with applicants for the past year. I know
that, as the employer, there are certain characteristics you are looking for in
a new employee, and certain things you are not.
Someone either fits as the entire package, or they don’t. Human beings
who are job hunting are boiled down to binary code. We are simply either a 1 or
a 0. Hiring managers, like computers don’t care why you are a 1 or 0, just
whether you meet the needs they are looking to fill in their priority. Either
be the answer to their needs right now, or tell your story walkin’.
Just as I have reviewed countless
resumes that did not exactly fit the
position I was looking to fill, now it was my turn to get the looks of pity,
annoyance, or disinterest from people who I clearly was never going to share a
morning cuppa joe with. My resume did not meet the needs of the people I met
today at the job fair, and I kind of expected that. I come in with a thorough
resume that does not meet anything close to the entry-level positions they need
filled. Several people even asked if I was willing to start at the
apprenticeship level. And I answered with the same answer I have heard so many
times before, that it makes no sense to take a position that will pay less than
childcare costs. The response was glaring. The 20-something hiring manager
without kids looked baffled, as the boss gave me a knowing nod and a chuckle,
saying under his breath, “nope. It does not.” They were not there to meet me,
much less hire me.
I even got to talk with a person
who used to manage a staffing company. She asked me why I left the company, and
I explained the quick overview. She asked what skills I have that their company might be able to use, almost in a sympathetic desire to help one of her own. I gave a brilliant answer to what
skills I have that they could use- that she clearly
did not agree with, as her face visibly sunk and she replied that I should go
to their website, and if I felt that they were advertising any positions that met
their needs, I should just apply online. Translation, “Go away boy, ya botha
me.’
Know what another phrase for job
fair is? Cattle call. Why do companies pay $1,500 to have a table at these
events? So they can send a couple of hiring managers to sift through the
resumes of people looking for salary and benefits packages, in search of the
people who will work for practically nothing more than a line on the resume.
These managers spend the entire day collecting resumes that will likely end up
in the shredder, or at the back of a file cabinet, which is essentially the
same thing. It doesn’t matter if you are an expert at your craft, or even
better than the people who will actually get the job that you applied for.
These companies pay to be in the job fair so they don’t need to pay you a penny
more than is absolutely necessary. Remember, this is a job fair, not a career fair! They want to hire entry-level
positions at minimum pay. Preferably, you have minimal experience too, so that
you are more open-minded to be trained (indoctrinated) into that corporate
culture. Why do I know all this? I used to be on the other side of the table. I
gave that same schpiel about how we are hiring for management soon. I heard
that at the last table I visited. When I heard that, I collected what little pride
was still littered at my feet and bolted for the exit. I gave one last glance
around the room before I left, realizing that I probably would not have given a
second look to most of the people who are now my peers. Alas, karma is patient,
but she knows how to communicate a message.
So what’s a boy in search of work to
do? The keys to the executive washroom are clearly just out of my reach, and I am too smart and determined to be an
intern to some Buddy Ackerman-type. My answer to me is simple: take my time.
The right work opportunity is out there, just not today.
I am kind of lucky to be in the
situation where right now, my family does not NEED the extra money coming in, in
a right now, from any source possible
kind of way. I have interviewed those people, and it is heartbreaking. The
least employable people, ironically, are the people who need the
job the most.
Just like that guy or girl on the first date, hiring executives can smell
desperation like a skunk in a bed of roses. 
While the additional income would
be nice right now, clearly any job I got would be nothing more than a stopover.
Meanwhile, I have a lifetime career waiting for me at home, and being dad is one
of the best opportunities to ever enter my life. Why would I blow the
opportunity to do a fantastic job at the one task I worked hardest in my life
to earn? It was nearly impossible to find the perfect adult person to fall in
love with; and then, starting a family is no easy feat. Becoming a dad is
probably the most exciting and exhausting job I have ever earned, and I refuse
to waste a singular moment of it- especially working half-time jobs with a boss
who rules over me when he is done with his math homework, or a full time job
with a schoolyard bully of a boss. Life is too short.
So why do
the job fair, if I know nothing is going to come of it? Because I don’t know that nothing is going to come
of it. And I feel the need to keep throwing myself out there, in hopes of being
a better financial provider for my family. That said, I have an amazing wife
with a great career she loves. I am not going to take the first job that comes
along, just to have a paycheck. I am far more important to my household as a
stable parent who has the energy and focus to teach baby how to roller skate,
how to ride a bike, and how to take care of themselves as responsible adults.
There are so
many jobs involved with being a stay-at-home parent. If it sounds
like I am undecided about my future, you are right. Right now, my brain is
split in so many directions… I looooove my time with baby, but I feel like it
is my duty to work, but I know that baby needs her parents, but taking a job provides
financial stability, but if the job pays less than daycare costs, then we have
a negative cash flow, but I am supposed to have a place to go every day, but
why go someplace that hurts the family in the long run, but, but, but………
So the journey continues. Today was
interesting, and gave me some great insights into myself and what I need for
the short and long-term. Hopefully you also found the whole thing kind of
interesting to read about.
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