An Open Letter to Bernie Sanders

Dear Bernie:

From the floor of University at Buffalo's Alumni Arena

                  I felt the Bern, I really did. I voted for you, I bought your swag, I donated $27 on more than one occasion, I went to your rally in Buffalo, NY. But now I fear that all my berning has left me with a metastasized Nader right on my Electoral College.

                  You have a long and admirable career of calling out the wolves in sheep’s clothing, and yes, you have been on the right side of history more often than not.

Last summer, you came on the national scene like a whirling dervish, even though we political nerds already knew who you were. Your unkempt look and non-traditional personality had a quaint charm that many people took an immediate shine to. You took a country by storm politically, especially the people who really do not follow politics, but were attracted to your unpolished bluster. The benefit is that you raised so many issues that no one in politics had the courage to touch.

Your complaints that the media was suppressing you was brilliant. The Millennials and middle class voters you are attracting loves a righteous underdog to advocate for via social media. And they did. Your message of $15 minimum wage and free tuition for all traveled up and down the Internet’s highways and byways. Your video clips were stirring. You packed stadiums and activated a younger generation. And on more than a few occasions you rattled the cages of the establishment. 

                  But, not atypical to political history, the activists had a passion that would not carry triumphantly to the ballot box. You relied on for social media blasts, stadium rallies, and $27 donations did not always coalesce on the various primary Election Days. Too many Bern-ers either did not vote, forgot, did not register, or felt they had already fulfilled their civic duty. 

                  Now, the Bernie movement is becoming relegated to a defiant hashtag: #Bernieorbust. The problem is, politics is more than hashtags. Politics, beyond social media and money is how much of that passive action turns into votes on Election Day. In 2000, there was a presidential election- one that was won by George W. Bush, the trust fund businessman over Al Gore the Vice President, thanks in large part to the jilted feelings of Green Party or Bust voters. Neither Bush or Gore was exciting, but they were both more mainstream than Ralph Nader, who was running for his fourth time as an impassioned environmentalist, and Pat Buchanan, the Conservative party’s far right answer for the election.

                  In Election 2000, minor party and write-ins accounted for 3.6% of votes cast[1], but that was enough to put Dubya in office because of Florida. In Florida, regardless of chads, dimples, butterflies, or the US Supreme Court, according to final totals, George W. Bush won the state by 537 votes. Nader got 97,488[2] in Florida, meaning if just 0.65% of Nader's Florida voters had changed their votes from protest to acquiescence, history would have worked out completely differently. Loyalty and passion are lovely attributes, but are you willing to bet your children's future on it?

And the Republicans have had the same problems, which is why they want you to keep fighting! In 1992, H. Ross Perot stole enough votes in enough states to help Bill Clinton win an election that George Bush I may have otherwise dominated.

Now, whether every Perot vote would have gone out to vote, and whether they would have all voted Bush is impossible to say… But for arguments sake, converting Perot votes to Bush flips the election. Without Perot, Bill Clinton would have lost an additional 26 states, including liberal bastions like California, Massachusetts, and Hawaii[3]. In Electoral Votes, we are talking a dizzying swing of 306 Electoral Votes moving from Bill Clinton to George Bush. Rather than winning with a 100-vote buffer, Clinton would have garnered only 64 of the 270 EV’s needed. 

My fear, Bernie, is that your shtick is wearing thin on voters. The party has heard your voice, and now you are simply taunting and poking the bear. Why, because you have the bank account to afford it? Your opportunity to speak at the convention, and continue to advance your rhetoric is quickly running out. You are threatening your otherwise noble campaign to be history’s 2016 Edition of Nader and Perot.

                  Fringe candidates are fun. They shake things up a little, but I fear you are overstepping your warrior status into becoming a nuisance benefitting the Trump campaign. Don’t you realize that these open primary voters could be republicans trying to put their thumb on the scale[4]?!

                  You have made your point, and the party has noticed. Now it is time to walk away. You say that you do not want Trump to win. Well, you are helping Trump now more than any media source ever could.

                  You fought the good fight. It’s time for Hillary to carry the baton. Rally the troops back into the Democratic tent, just as Hillary Clinton did in 2008 after an equally contentious primary election.

I will root for you to speak at the convention, but for that to happen, you need to be an asset to the Democrats. Right now I am afraid your remaining fans are becoming overcome with emotion. The fact is, and you know it, most of your most rabid fans had no idea you existed last spring. But your message connected to them--- you just could not convert them into voters.

Thank you for your dedication, and I look forward to seeing your stalwart passion back on the Senate floor serving the country as you have for decades. You are a dedicated public servant, and for that we all say thank you.

Very Truly,

A Grateful but Tired Nation

---

[1] National Archives and Records Administration. (N.D.). 2000 Presidential Election.Retrieved from http://www.archives.gov/federal-register/electoral-college/2000/popular_vote.html

[2] National Archives and Records Administration. (N.D.). 2000 Presidential Election.Retrieved from http://www.archives.gov/federal-register/electoral-college/2000/popular_vote.html

[3] UC Santa Barbara. (2016). The American Presidency Project. Retrieved from http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/showelection.php?year=1992

[4] Savransky, R. (2016, May 10). Exit polls: Nearly half of W.Va. Sanders backers would vote Trump. The Hill. Retrieved from http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/279430-nearly-half-of-sanders-voters-in-west-virginia-would-vote

Epidemics Do Not Deserve Religious Protections

Every parent knows the sound of their own child’s pain-riddled tears. It is a sound that stabs our ears, shoots right up the spinal cord, and spins our souls round and round like a roller coaster in hell. As a parent, you would rather spend eternity listening to fingernails scraping haphazardly on a chalkboard than listen to one moment of your child’s tears that you gave someone else the permission to inflict. Pediatrician offices understand the pain they are forced to inflict, as well as the anguish it inflicts on their poor parents, which is why they are always stocked up on lollipops.
I, like many parents, foolishly thought that any kids who attended public schools needed to be vaccinated; as in, all of them. It was like an unwritten social contract; that we all agree to protect our children to the best of our abilities, even if it required a moment’s worth of pain. We all collectively, albeit individually, decided that our children should only know of an iron lung during history class. Then Hollywood, not the medical community, Hollywood, told the crunchy parents they are inflicting health maladies on their children, and the social agreement was tossed in the paper shredder.

It is a strange human condition we all suffer from: humans are seemingly eager to believe that there are people who are total strangers to us but are still doing maliciously horrible acts upon us, rather than believing the far more benign idea that the human form is simply imperfect. That sometimes, bad things happen --- even to the most health conscious people. The crunchiest of parents, parents who breast-feed for a year or more, who buy all the most natural foods, use only organic diapers, never smoke or drink, and make sure the every toy in their home is made with the best woods and painted with the most digestible paints, and intellectually stimulating, well, their kids will still get sick. Not can get sick, but will get sick. The truth is, no matter how proactive a parent is, sometimes things just don’t go right. It is not a reflection on the parent that a child gets a cold or an ear infection, but what about Whooping Cough, Measles, or Tetanus?

It was not until recently that I thought to do some investigation of vaccination rates in my home state. I have two kids, one who is too young to get her first dose of MMR; and honestly, I was getting a little frightened by the speed of the spread of Measles. Now, I am not one of those parents who naturally panics, but I am also not a parent to just brush off danger without knowing the entire picture ahead of time. Kids get sick, I know and accept that. If my baby gets the flu, I will be ready with the chicken soup and cuddles. But Measles? I think Measles have built up resistance to chicken soup and parental cuddling.

The truth of vaccination rates is actually quite surprising. In actuality, the only states that require their students be vaccinated before attending school are Mississippi and West Virginia, and West Virginia has a bill in the works to add Religious exemptions for parents. Another tick of the clock, backwards for our children's health.

Mississippi is soon to be the ONLY state in the US with very defined limitations
on how you can waive vaccines and go to public school.

The fact is, vaccines work. This is an accepted science, the world over. What is frightening is that the United States Ranks #94 out of 187 in the world for vaccinations, behind countries like: Jamaica, Uzbekistan, Mexico, Malawi, Burundi, and Iceland.

This person is not medically trained.

In twenty states, parents can exclude their children from vaccinations from extremely dangerous maladies for three reasons: medical, religious, or personal exemptions. The “personal” exemptions usually have to do with something they learned from Jenny McCarthy, or unverified junk science. Nothing against parents with strong beliefs for the betterment of their kids, but if you are worried the vaccine maker is in it just for the money, when pennies on your kid’s vaccine will actually trickle up to their coffers, and you willingly surrender half your paycheck to Whole Foods every Friday… well, maybe you should listen to the doctor you chose to take care of your family, and not just listen to the ever popular, Dr. Google. 

In New York and 27 other States, we are far more cautious about children, schools, and vaccines…. kind of. In more than half of the states in this Union, the only way your child can attend public school is with proof of vaccinations, or a medical exemption, or a religious exemption. Now, as a parent, I am empathetic to the struggles of all parents. We are all doing our best to raise our children with the information available to us. Certainly, if a child has a medical reason not to be vaccinated, and their medical professionals believe the child is too susceptible to a live vaccine, they should not get it. But the struggle of those children is the exact reason why the rest of us need to step up and act like adults and get our kids vaccinated. We all snuggle our kids a little closer when we know someone whose child gets diagnosed with something terrifying. It is a terrifying and sobering situation when you are forced to think of your child’s mortality. I just don’t think that you should be able to do all the snugglies with a clear conscience, unless you are also willing to doing your part to protect that other parent’s child from your own kid’s bugs.

So what qualifies as religious exemptions? Are there specific religions that are protected, or does the Church of Crunchy Parenting qualify? 

In New York, the law provides a religious exemption "to children whose parents, or guardian hold genuine and sincere religious beliefs [against vaccinations]. There are no litmus tests by which to prove this genuine and sincere assertion, not a church letter, no references to verify, not even a single religious document that convincingly eschews western medicine in favor of prayer.  All a parent or guardian need do is write an essay of any length, explaining that your religion forbids your child from getting vaccinations. Conveniently, I am sure you can even mail it from the McDonald’s mailbox. Mail it right off to the state capitol, where some overworked bureaucrat, who likely has no religiously scholarly training, will determine whether you qualify for this exemption. As soon as it gets that stamp, you’re done. 

Parents who do vaccinate their kids for school seem to be punished for their efficacy. We have far more responsibilities to fulfill in order to keep our kids current in school: keep bringing the kids to the doctor, which is no easy task, once they are old enough to connect the odor of rubbing alcohol to throbbing pain, make sure that all shots are current and records are updated if we move at some time in 18 years, make sure that all records are kept updated for school, and make sure that anything involving the school nurse is actually kept 100% accurate. Please make note, your doctor’s office may require more than 24 hours to turn around a vaccination form, so if you don’t want Johnny to miss school, you’d best keep your records up to date, and make sure you submit the form to your doctor’s office with sufficient turnaround time. Remember, your child’s school can deny admittance if medical records are out of date by two weeks or more. 

It would seem that a family asking for a religious exemption would have to at least reaffirm their faith every year. Nope. You have your stamped sheet, and as long as you don’t lose it, you are done.

 Currently, under New York law, you only need to provide this religious release form, and you are done. The only way you would have more work to do than that is if a principal requests the parents or guardians provide more detail as to their religious convictions or affiliations. Speaking as a former public school teacher, this is extremely unlikely. When principals have nightmares, they are of angry parents confronting them on pretty much anything at all.

As diseases that were once extinct make a raging comeback, and kids who were once safe due to the efficacy of other parents are now being infected all over the country, it is time that legislators put their reelections on the line, and crack down on school vaccinations. 

The very notion of this being a hard line sounds ridiculous. It feels like I am saying legislators need to put their is should be an outdated concept. Sometimes a legislator needs to be brave enough to do what’s right, even if it means they have to go out and get a real job after the election.
reelections on the line and openly admit that puppy dogs are super cute. It just seems like a no brainer. Will they get harassed? Yes. That is what Internet Memes are for. But if you were elected to serve the people, it seems only right that the needs of the community at large should supersede a cushy career. This notion that the loudest squeak gets the grease in politics is should be an outdated concept. Sometimes a legislator needs to be brave enough to do what’s right, even if it means they have to go out and get a real job after the election.

If, as a parent, you choose to send your child to a public school, you need to accept the rules that the rest of the masses live by, and play by those same rules.

If you indeed do think you know better, and want to get your child an education, but not a vaccination, that is also your right. Here is a happy medium: send your child to a private school that embraces your libertarian bent. Send your child to a school where all parents and staff are aware of the same risks, and accept those risks in total. 

Every parent or guardian who chooses to send their kids to Pertussis Preschool knows that they are assuming certain risks. And as a teacher, janitor, or administrator if you apply to work at PP, you are knowingly accepting those risks as well. All participating families are knowledgeable of the risks they are taking. 

The problem for most public school parents is that they don’t know that there are kids in the school building who are not up to date on all of their vaccinations until a letter comes home that the school has been shut down due to epidemic illness. And the staff, which may also have young kids at home, they did not sign up for your vaccination rhetoric. Now, if the staff or their kids bring the disease home, it costs that worker sick days, vacation time, or salary. If your politics are that vaccinations are wrong, then send your child to an institution with the same values, where everyone takes the same risks with knowledge and responsibility.

To let unvaccinated children into a public school classroom, with no regard for the health of hundreds of other children and adults in the same building just seems selfish to me. I am not arguing against education for children whose parents don't believe in vaccinations, I am simply arguing that all families who believe in vaccinations have the right to feel safe when their kids shuffle off to school in the morning. 

Your right to practice your faith in your way does not equate to a denial of my children to a medically safe school day.  No, there are no guarantees my kids don’t come home with the flu, but it doesn’t mean that we eschew all protections.

You may argue that you have a right to untethered religious freedom, and I agree 100%, if you practice in an environment that does not endanger my family. Sending your unvaccinated child to my child’s school denies my family the right to make proactive choices to best protect us from epidemic diseases; and keeping me ignorant of that choice just makes your actions dangerous.  

I believe strongly that you have the right to worship however you choose, without fear of judgment or recrimination. However, I also believe that I have the right to not plan my child’s funeral; simply because you exercised your religious freedoms. 

I truly believe that all parents operate unselfishly- trying to make decisions in their child's best interests. If your faith's values could put other people's children in harm's way, you should have the right to comply with the mainstream or educate through other avenues; not least of which are home schooling and private schooling. 

Educate your child, but don't deny another parent piece of mind just because some politicians fear criticism on a controversial issue. 

We need some brave politicians in our State Legislatures to seize this current momentum on vaccinations. Lets make public schools safer by insisting on a very safe shot for all public school children. Stop selling fear of the unknown, when the known is far more frightening. 

We need some brave politicians in our State Legislatures to seize this current momentum on vaccinations. Lets make public schools safer by insisting on a very safe shot. Not just safe for your child, but for the betterment of your community as well. 

Wayne N. Brown

Buffalo, NY

Hunter or Prey, One is Easier- Guess Which!

            Well I got smacked in the face today, by the cold, harsh, hand of reality. It is definitely more fun to be the predator than the prey in this vicious job safari of the 21^st Century.

            I went to my first job fair since closing our staffing company several weeks ago. Apparently karma decided that it needed to assault my ear with the same trite clichés I have been forced to use with applicants for the past year. I know that, as the employer, there are certain characteristics you are looking for in a new employee, and certain things you are not.  Someone either fits as the entire package, or they don’t. Human beings who are job hunting are boiled down to binary code. We are simply either a 1 or a 0. Hiring managers, like computers don’t care why you are a 1 or 0, just whether you meet the needs they are looking to fill in their priority. Either be the answer to their needs right now, or tell your story walkin’.

Just as I have reviewed countless resumes that did not exactly fit the position I was looking to fill, now it was my turn to get the looks of pity, annoyance, or disinterest from people who I clearly was never going to share a morning cuppa joe with. My resume did not meet the needs of the people I met today at the job fair, and I kind of expected that. I come in with a thorough resume that does not meet anything close to the entry-level positions they need filled. Several people even asked if I was willing to start at the apprenticeship level. And I answered with the same answer I have heard so many times before, that it makes no sense to take a position that will pay less than childcare costs. The response was glaring. The 20-something hiring manager without kids looked baffled, as the boss gave me a knowing nod and a chuckle, saying under his breath, “nope. It does not.” They were not there to meet me, much less hire me.

I even got to talk with a person who used to manage a staffing company. She asked me why I left the company, and I explained the quick overview. She asked what skills I have that their company  might be able to use, almost in a sympathetic desire to help one of her own. I gave a brilliant answer to what skills I have that they could use- that she clearly did not agree with, as her face visibly sunk and she replied that I should go to their website, and if I felt that they were advertising any positions that met their needs, I should just apply online. Translation, “Go away boy, ya botha me.’ 

Know what another phrase for job fair is? Cattle call. Why do companies pay $1,500 to have a table at these events? So they can send a couple of hiring managers to sift through the resumes of people looking for salary and benefits packages, in search of the people who will work for practically nothing more than a line on the resume. These managers spend the entire day collecting resumes that will likely end up in the shredder, or at the back of a file cabinet, which is essentially the same thing. It doesn’t matter if you are an expert at your craft, or even better than the people who will actually get the job that you applied for. These companies pay to be in the job fair so they don’t need to pay you a penny more than is absolutely necessary. Remember, this is a job fair, not a career fair! They want to hire entry-level positions at minimum pay. Preferably, you have minimal experience too, so that you are more open-minded to be trained (indoctrinated) into that corporate culture. Why do I know all this? I used to be on the other side of the table. I gave that same schpiel about how we are hiring for management soon. I heard that at the last table I visited. When I heard that, I collected what little pride was still littered at my feet and bolted for the exit. I gave one last glance around the room before I left, realizing that I probably would not have given a second look to most of the people who are now my peers. Alas, karma is patient, but she knows how to communicate a message.

So what’s a boy in search of work to do? The keys to the executive washroom are clearly just out of my reach, and I am too smart and determined to be an intern to some Buddy Ackerman-type. My answer to me is simple: take my time. The right work opportunity is out there, just not today.  

I am kind of lucky to be in the situation where right now, my family does not NEED the extra money coming in, in a right now, from any source possible kind of way. I have interviewed those people, and it is heartbreaking. The least employable people, ironically, are the people who need the

job the most. Just like that guy or girl on the first date, hiring executives can smell desperation like a skunk in a bed of roses.

While the additional income would be nice right now, clearly any job I got would be nothing more than a stopover. Meanwhile, I have a lifetime career waiting for me at home, and being dad is one of the best opportunities to ever enter my life. Why would I blow the opportunity to do a fantastic job at the one task I worked hardest in my life to earn? It was nearly impossible to find the perfect adult person to fall in love with; and then, starting a family is no easy feat. Becoming a dad is probably the most exciting and exhausting job I have ever earned, and I refuse to waste a singular moment of it- especially working half-time jobs with a boss who rules over me when he is done with his math homework, or a full time job with a schoolyard bully of a boss. Life is too short.

            So why do the job fair, if I know nothing is going to come of it? Because I don’t know that nothing is going to come of it. And I feel the need to keep throwing myself out there, in hopes of being a better financial provider for my family. That said, I have an amazing wife with a great career she loves. I am not going to take the first job that comes along, just to have a paycheck. I am far more important to my household as a stable parent who has the energy and focus to teach baby how to roller skate, how to ride a bike, and how to take care of themselves as responsible adults. There are so

many jobs involved with being a stay-at-home parent. If it sounds like I am undecided about my future, you are right. Right now, my brain is split in so many directions… I looooove my time with baby, but I feel like it is my duty to work, but I know that baby needs her parents, but taking a job provides financial stability, but if the job pays less than daycare costs, then we have a negative cash flow, but I am supposed to have a place to go every day, but why go someplace that hurts the family in the long run, but, but, but………

So the journey continues. Today was interesting, and gave me some great insights into myself and what I need for the short and long-term. Hopefully you also found the whole thing kind of interesting to read about.

Don't Blame the Path if You Can't Take the Hike

Join me on a pretend trip. We are walking through the woods together. Just exploring. All of a sudden, you see someone yelling, screaming, and carrying on because the path they were traveling abruptly turned into overgrowth, trees, shrubs, and a directionless path of mud. Rather than finding the next path, they just yelled at the forest for its failure. You would think they were crazy and walk as far away from them to avoid being noticed. Yet, we all have a tendency to do that very same thing when we hit a path with an abrupt ending.

My new reality of not working on a day-to-day reality is still very strange to me. For the past week or so, my brain has been arguing with itself as to whether I feel sufficiently badly for not succeeding. I feel like I should be more upset than I am. On the surface, if you look at the facts, I failed. But if you stick with my thought process, there is a difference between failure and not succeeding. Surface-wise, I did fail. I owned a business, and my path abruptly ended. My wife and I bought a business, we grew said business to a point where it really maximized its income potential, and it wasn't enough to realize a profit, so we closed. Sure sounds like failure, right? Just remember what Vince Lombardi said after his team did not win a big game, "We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time." Sometimes, no matter how hard you fight, the clock is going to run out before you want it to run out.

So I am in the forest, and our path turned from a lovely walk to a muddy, directionless mess- almost without warning. Did I not read the forest’s map correctly?  Should I have turned right instead of left at the large metaphorical oak? I did not reach my goal. Failure, right? My brain is trying to figure out why I don’t feel sad, dejected, and reeking of failure. Sometimes you need to flip the scenario around for better feedback. If you think about it, most jobs and/or careers are “failures” if you define failure as ending before we may choose. In fact, the only job that ends at the right time is the one that enables you to retire, forever. As an old boss used to say, a resume is nothing more than a list of jobs that didn’t work out the way we had hoped they would. As an aside, that boss’ path ended with an indictment from the FTC. We all have different types of mud on the path.

Part of being an adult is recognizing the struggle of the path. Are things not working at all? Are they are simply going slower than we would like, but with success on its way if we walk far enough? Or, are we on the right path and frustrated with the wait?  No matter what, you need to remember not to marry the path, no matter how good it seems to be today. If the forest you are strolling through all of a sudden bursts into a fiery blaze, continuing the afternoon stroll just to prove you can take the heat is just dumb. Don't blame the path for letting you down, for the path is emotionally neutral, totally uninvested in your success or failure. The path just offers you a sense of direction that others may or may not have successfully used. There are plenty of people who have come before you who may have had wonderful experiences on that identical path, and others who may have found only misery. Maybe you are in the right woods, but that path does care.

Don’t blame the forest’s path for your failure, or thank it for your success. It’s your plan. Cursing the tree, and saying the path doesn’t work is silly. I would rather learn my mistakes and find my better path ASAP. But, what if it’s the right path for me and I was just not prepared? I just have the wrong footwear for the weather, or I am hiking at 6pm without batteries for my flashlight. None of this is the path’s fault. I must figure out why I am not succeeding on my path. How? First, identify the possible problem.

·      Business Owner: Maybe my business is spending too much on advertising. Sales might be off projection. I hired the wrong people. The people I hired are good people who don’t get along. I simply am not good enough.

·      Employee: Maybe the product is faulty. Management might not be sufficient. Possible conflicts within management’s business vision.

·      Volunteering: Maybe the leadership does not have a good mission statement. Possibly does not understand the mission statement. Financing is not sufficient to accomplish the mission.

After you identify the issue, you have new issues to face. First and foremost, fix the issue. It’s easier to fix one minor issues like new batteries in the flashlight, than returning all the way back to the cabin. Depending where you are in the flowchart indicated what sway you have in fixing what issue. If you own the business, it’s easy to make personnel changes, but nearly impossible to change the product on the spot. If you are an employee or volunteer, you need to focus on making you and the people who answer to you the best you can.

But what happens you have made all the fixes you can, and you're still stuck in a patch of poison ivy? Our franchise closed, but I don’t think that we failed. Our staff had issues, and fixed them. We had great sales for our age. Our product was people- and it was pretty much the same people at every other staffing company that is succeeding. Whenever we identified a new shortcoming, we fixed them. Sometimes, on life’s hike, you come across issues where other hikers cause problems. You don’t even need to know them personally. Just look at the Smokey the Bear ad

campaign. If someone else doesn’t properly extinguish their dinner fire, your vacation could be disrupted. Just as one franchisee making a foolish comment to the media could impact your business. So now your success involves relying on others for your success. When you rely on others, you need them to see the map the same way that you do. This is especially important when you buy into a franchise- where you have 10, 20, 50, or 100+ people on the same hike at the same time.

Our business closed because I could not successfully show other people that we had designed a successful path out of the weeds. It happens. We are not the first, nor the last business to not get to the beautiful end of the path to enjoy the magnificent sunset.

Sometimes non-failure means that you got off the bad path sooner rather than later--- kind of a backwards success. I think that the business we bought will be a success for a very few, primarily large city markets. We actually did better by cutting our losses before the tidal loss of cash became overwhelming to our family. 

When I was younger, I thought the key to success was fighting till the last breath was in my body. Sometimes real strength comes from restraint, rather than battling- a lesson I learned from old metaphorical scars. More than once, my passion has ended with my being politely escorted from the job site. But now, as a business owner, running a business till you are penniless isn't dedication, it's dumb. 

Now, this article is not meant to be a downer, or a de-motivator. The message isn’t that when the going gets tough, get the hell out. The message is simple. Fight with all your heart and spirit, but know when to walk away. There can be honor in un-success. Not every marriage is made in heaven- some are made several miles below. While I did not leave our franchiser or our office with warm cuddles for the company, that is my issue to wrestle with, not theirs. When you leave your job, by choice or by force, the company will go on without you- most likely like you were never there. I accept that the franchiser does not worry about my welfare now that I left their forest. When you are on the wrong path, don't curse the overgrowth and the scrub. Leave the forest on a high note and find a forest that better meets your needs.

This morning, I went to tour a college program- a totally new forest for me, just in case I do choose to become a student again. As I met with the recruiter, I told her that we just closed our office a few weeks ago. Her response was appropriate; she frowned a sad face like I told her that a car just hit my puppy. I quickly flipped the script around and told her that it closed by our choice because of reason a, b, and c. No vitriol. Just fact. When things don’t go your way, people will feel badly for you, but only to a point. Ultimately, they want to know what you are going to do about the setback. Everyone who has ever achieved anything of meaning has been fired at least once. Successful people who have earned their stripes earned those stripes through the pain of failure. So they can identify with the setback, but will not listen to you marinate in your own tears. Pity won't get you your next opportunity- just a tissue and a sad face. Sad faces don't pay the bills. To quote Tom Cruise from

Cocktail, something I rarely do, "everything ends badly. Otherwise it wouldn't end." Don’t curse the end of the path. Find a new one, or make a new one. People will happily help you plow the road, but they will only wipe your tears for so long.

I loved the people I worked with, and I am sure some us will keep in touch. But when we get together, we talk about the future. Your life cannot flourish if you are trying to walk forward while looking over your shoulder at what might have been.

Failure is when you get to the end of the path, and carry on rather than moving on. Now, I am not saying that you need to be emotionally pleasant a mere seventeen minutes after suffering a soul-crushing defeat; that would be unreasonable. But it’s no less unreasonable than pitching a tent at the end of the path and wondering why the scenery never changes.

Un-failure and/or non-failure is when you take the lesson from the bad path, extrapolate the lesson, and move on to a path that better fits your excursion. When you can separate yourself from the emotions attached to an event, you can usually find the humor in how you got there. That humor will give you strength. When you hold onto the negative emotions, this is where you find the land of failure.

I don't know if my school path is going to work out for me now, in the future, or never. That is why I also give my resume to the people of influence that I am friendly with. The fun of life is that you don’t know what the adventure has in store. Keep your eyes wide-open though- that is where good things are far more likely to happen.  

Don't mourn the end of your path. Find the new path, and appreciate how much wiser you are, for prior wrong turns.